elvedon answered your question: What if one day words no longer held any meaning,…

words at times are all I have

I miss you. <3

What if one day
words no longer held any meaning,
and we just slipped away
from this life? 

To be honest, I’m not sure if I’ve ever felt anymore alone than I do now. I’ve been falling in love with words, faces, names, and personalities much too easily, and I just feel like a fly on the wall. 

I love to write
but I cannot for the life of me write this paper on how Michael Moore initiated thought through his documentaries. I’ve been working on it for three days, and only have one and a half pages.

So dear, why don’t you keep me company? 

Your name rolled easily off
the tips of the waves
crashing into another
much like when
you crashed into
me. 

My pen is a weapon I hide behind, painting the world in black ink, opening doors to the future, and closing the doors from my past.
My pen is my significant other, the way is caresses my fingertips, and playfully teases until just the right moment.  
My pen is my closest friend, laughing at all my secrets, and is at times too honest, because it knows that deep down the criticism makes me stronger.
My pen follows me everywhere, to adventurous lands, or just for an afternoon in the city park, listening to the red haired man play his baby grand, witnessing squirrels begging to shake my hand.
My pen can hum the rise and fall of the waves, and spin word mimicking the sand in between my toes, and tell tall-tales of blanket forts on rainy days.
My pen is an extension of me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Summer concert days
just seem oh so far away
when papers haunt me. 

I apologize for my absence, I’m not leaving you, I promise.

In fact just the opposite.

I managed to get myself two (unpaid) writing jobs for two different online music publications,
and I’ve been busy finishing up school for the year. My absence will probably continue until wednesday, which is when I hand in my research paper on how language is the corruption of thought and vise versa.

I hope everyone has been doing well.

It is hard to obtain a stream of consciousness
when all your thoughts are blocked by life’s
little stressors, and you are always worry
about this and that but people tell you
that you are too young to feel such
responsibility, and yet that you
don’t take on enough tasks
and all you want to do
is to succeed in a
world that would
rather see you
die before
you are
happy.
And what
if this really
is the last minute
and you’re wasting
it writing yet another
dumb paper that means
nothing to you, when you
could be doing something
you love and you’re so sick
of waiting for that day to come
that you’re told you can be what
you want, and yet everyone seems
so ahead of you already, you’re eating
their dust, while crying behind their tracks,
and to be honest all I want to do right now is
to live, to breathe and smile and dream and touch
to feel and to be, and to be the person I never thought 
could have existed, that I never really thought I could be.